Kids

Thanksgiving is around the corner and I can’t help but think that life is great if you’re anything except a real turkey right about now. By real turkey, I’m referring to the bird and not a metaphorical one like your uncle Frank!

I’m also uncertain whether to feel bad for Tofurkey this season? I’ve actually read some articles recently that suggest that plants can feel pain. The thought of a soy bean in agony as it’s squished into a turkey shaped delicious lump seems hard to swallow – literally! The soy bean is a seed, so it’s like killing a plant embryo! Vegans are heartless; the things they do just to satisfy their insatiable palette for delicious, easy to prep foods is coldblooded! But I’m not judging, just stating the obvious facts.

This season, I’m just going to eat mushrooms (different kingdom than animals or plants if I recall my biology studies) and I hear that both animals and plants find fungi to be real creepy a**holes. They are all slimy, dirty and scavengers always eating dead things. Fungi sound cooler to eat though. This season I’m having some “Funkey,” you have your Tofurkey or Turkey. I’m still on fence regarding pumpkins being slaughtered for pie? I have to give that one more thought because I do love me some pumpkin pie. Actually,  I’m not sure if it’s the pumpkin flavor or that the pie is a great vehicle for the Matterhorn like mountain of real dairy whip-cream I dump on top of it? Hmmm?

Anyway, I’m really looking forward to getting the crew together and we can discuss all the dietary atrocities being committed this holiday.

 Plant and Animal Friendly Dad